No Merge Records, No!

It’s not that I don’t understand. As musicians, we’re living in the dystopian future. I got this. Trying to sell music, any type of music right now, is so close to impossible that it’s almost a joke.

However, I just don’t think a record made of ice is the way to go here. Yes, record made of ice. If you win their contest, Merge records will send you a kit so that you can make a record of a song from the Shout Out Louds in your freezer. Make it out of OJ and you can have a tasty snack.

Here are the reasons why I think this is Not Great.

(1) It sounds like crap. Even the one featured on their how-to video sounds like crap.

(2) It’s gonna make a mess on my turntable. Don’t tell me it’s not.

(3) I don’t think I can actually make the mold work well enough in my freezer to make a playable record. As someone who cooks, I can tell you that freezer molds are not super easy to do. You ever try to make a floaty witch’s hand in your Halloween punch? The fingers will break off.

It all seems like something out of the Onion to me. Personally, I’d rather try to print QR codes on rolling papers. Don’t steal that.

But what the hell do I know? I’m making cassettes over here.

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